


You Move Me

by darkin520



Category: seaQuest
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 02:04:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6310741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkin520/pseuds/darkin520
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little Kristin and Nathan romance set after Hide and Seek. First season, AU. One-shot. *COMPLETE*</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Move Me

**Author's Note:**

> Accompanying fanvid can be found here, if interested: www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_yGdTYHsNs

Two weeks had passed since Milos Teslov surrendered, and while everything on the _seaQuest_ seemed to be getting back to normal, Nathan couldn't shake the unsettling feeling deep within his bones. It wasn't one of foreboding exactly. He certainly wasn't worried about the state of the boat or the crew. Whatever would come their way, he was sure they'd handle it with ease.

No, his feelings were more about his current emotional state...and that of a certain doctor. As they sat around the ward room table at the Monday morning staff meeting, Nathan risked a glance at her. Upon noticing he was looking at her, she offered him that warm smile of hers, and he gave her a gentle nod in response before quickly turning away. Well, perhaps he was wrong about her. _She_ didn't seem to be having any trouble with her emotions...not that she'd let on anyway. Of course, she'd been a mystery to him since their little encounter in the mess hall over chocolate pudding. _"I'm checking; I'm checking."_ What the _hell_ was that supposed to mean? If she didn't need anything at the time, what was wrong with simply saying no? Why all the mystery? Why couldn't she just-

_You already know why,_ his heart told him.

Nathan bristled slightly at his inner voice. Did he really know? Well, he had to admit he suspected. He'd gone over that small conversation several times in his head, and the only thing he could guess was that in fact she did need something, only she refused to tell him, which had set him more on edge than she could ever know. So much so that as the senior staff members took turns giving their department reports, Nathan was having trouble focusing, especially since Kristin kept stealing glances at him every so often. Every time she did, he'd be compelled to stare into her dark, whiskey-hued eyes, pull her into his arms, and throw caution to the wind...

"...and everything in engineering seems to be in order, sir," Katie said.

Nathan forced himself to turn his attention away from Kristin and give the lieutenant commander a nod. "Thank you for that thorough report, Commander. I guess that just leaves..."

"The medical and science reports," Kristin finished for him. "Except..." She turned to him, lowering her voice and placing a gentle hand on his arm that sent shivers down his spine. "I'm sorry for staring, but...are you feeling all right?"

His brow furrowed. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"It's just I can't help but notice the beads of sweat dotting your forehead, and...you look a little pale." She placed a hand to his forehead. "You feel awfully warm. Do you think you're coming down with something?"

He carefully removed her hand. "I appreciate your concern, but I feel fine. Well, I might be just a little tired. I didn't sleep very well last night, so I'm sure that's the culprit. As for the sweating, I think I'm just overdressed. As soon as the meeting is over, I'm going to remove my turtleneck and switch to a T-shirt. Then I'm sure things will be all right."

She stared into his eyes for several moments as if trying to gauge if he was being truthful or not. Finally, however, she removed her hand from his arm and gave a nod. "Well, as long as you're sure... I just had to check."

"Thank you for that," he muttered, turning back to the others.

Kristin cleared her throat. "Sorry about that, everyone. I promise I won't be long. As far as the medical reports go, we've only had two injuries this week..."

As she continued speaking, Nathan's mind wandered off once again. If she had feelings for him, why in the world couldn't she just tell him? Why did she have to speak in riddles? He gave a shake of his head. From the moment they'd met, they'd always been able to speak. That was the thing about Kristin; she could take the most boring subject and turn it into something absolutely fascinating. He'd thoroughly enjoyed getting to know her, and he found it difficult to imagine his life without her now.

But the lines of communication had been a bit tangled as of late. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time the two of them sat down and had a normal, easy conversation. It had been way before Milos Teslov had come aboard. It had even been before she-

"Nathan?"

Kristin's soft voice brought him back to reality once again. He looked up, seeing a score of concerned faces staring back at him. His face grew hot with embarrassment.

She put a hand over his. "Are you _sure_ you're all right?"

He nodded, clearing his throat. "Um, sorry, people. I guess I drifted off there for a moment." He clapped his hands together. "Well, if there's nothing else, meeting adjourned. Have a good day."

As everyone began to leave, Kristin lagged behind, turning to him. "Maybe you should let me give you an exam. You don't look well."

He shook his head. "I've already told you, I'm just tired. It's nothing to worry about."

"Then maybe you should take the day off? Get some rest? I'm sure Commander Ford could handle the bridge. We're only on patrol, and... Well, if anything came up, you'd certainly be available to-"

He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Kristin, I'm fine, I promise. I appreciate your concern, but I'll be just fine."

She stared into his eyes for a few brief moments, and he felt his knees grow weak. He placed a hand on the wall to steady himself, hoping she didn't notice.

Finally, she nodded. "All right, I'm sorry. But if anything changes you know where-" The beeping of her PAL unit cut her off. She gave him an apologetic look and turned to answer it. "Westphalen."

"Doctor, you have a call on secure link three from Dr. Lansdowne," Tim's voice said.

_Of course,_ Nathan thought, _Downey._ _ **He's**_ _the reason they'd stopped spending so much time together..._

"Thank you, Mr. O'Neill; put it through to my office, and I'll be there shortly."

"Of course, Doctor."

She put her PAL unit back into her pocket and turned to him. "I guess I need to run. Um, but if anything changes..."

"I'll be sure to let you know. I'm sure I'll see you later."

"Later," she called as she hurried out of the room.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Once on the bridge, however, Nathan couldn't stop himself from thinking about the whole situation with Kristin again. He obviously hadn't liked it when she had chosen to spend her shore leave in the Caicos Islands to work with Malcolm. And then when he'd confronted her about it, she'd accused him of being jealous.

He sighed. Of course he was jealous, but no one likes to be accused of that fact...nor does anyone like to admit it either. He'd refused to admit it. In fact, he'd walked away from her then, and he'd known the moment he had, he'd hurt her.

She hadn't admitted it, but he'd seen the look on her face when he'd stopped in the doorway and looked back at her. She'd been hurt and confused, and he'd felt so guilty for making her feel that way, only he couldn't bring himself to say anything more, not then and not even now, because...

Well, he was scared. It was no secret to anyone that Carol's death had affected him deeply, and he'd never once guessed he might have feelings for anyone else so soon after her passing...only his heart hadn't quite gotten the memo about time. He wasn't even sure how long one should wait before he gave his heart to another; he hadn't gotten that memo either. And even though he felt something for Kristin, he was so scared she might be taken away from him too early...and he wasn't sure he could handle that. Not only that, it had been so long since he'd dated anyone, he wasn't sure he even remembered how.

_Apparently not,_ he thought bitterly, because he didn't remember having quite so much trouble in his younger days.

Still, he didn't blame himself completely. Sure, he might have been too scared to admit his feelings to her, but Miss I'm Checking was no better. She obviously wasn't being forthcoming either, and it took two to tango. It was just as much her fault as it was his.

As he leaned back in his chair, he sighed again. He really needed to stop dwelling on this, he decided. He looked around, and thankfully, no one seemed to notice he'd been lost in his own little world. In fact, he could probably steal away, and no one would think anything of it. Maybe Kristin was right; maybe he should take some time to rest.

_Or maybe you should go pay her a visit instead._

He started to shake his head, but then he thought better of it. Well, she had gotten a call from Malcolm. Was she planning on working with him again? Though she hadn't arranged for any more shore leave yet, that didn't mean she wouldn't in the near future...and Downey could be awfully persistent. He felt his anger rise just a touch at the thought. He certainly hadn't liked seeing those two nuzzled up close together while he was here, and the thought of it happening again...

No, he had to put a stop to it. Maybe it was time he made the first move. Even if he was afraid, he didn't like the thought of losing her to someone else. That gave him courage. He turned to Ford. "Commander, I just remembered I have a private matter to attend to. You have the bridge."

"Aye, Captain," Jonathan said with a nod, and Nathan stepped through the clam doors, heading towards the science labs.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"...and Caesar is just doing wonderfully," Malcolm said. "I really should thank you. You know, I had my doubts about this arrangement, but I...I really didn't realize how much I needed him until he was here, and now, I can't imagine my life without him."

Kristin smiled. "I'm really happy to hear you say that. I had a feeling it would all work out in the end."

"How did you know?"

She shrugged. "We'll just call it women's intuition. I'm really glad you called to give me an update on everything."

"Well, I promised I'd keep in touch..." He paused. "You know, Kris, I...I know the timing for us might be off right now, but..."

She shuddered slightly. No one else in her life ever referred to her as Kris...except Nathan, and hearing Malcolm say it just now made her feel slightly uncomfortable. She lowered her gaze, sure she knew what was coming next.

"...say you'll keep the idea open for the future...please? I think we really had something, didn't we? I felt it, and I know you did, too."

She nodded quietly. "Well, yes, but... Malcolm, the tour has another year, at least. So much could happen in that time, and... I just don't want you waiting on me, and you obviously have your hands full now."

"Yeah, but you get shore leave, don't you?" He gave her that goofy grin of his. "We had so much fun the last time you were here...you know, _before_ we were held at gunpoint."

She returned the smile, but it faded as quickly as it came. "Oh, Malcolm, please don't do this. We talked about this. I just... I don't want you thinking I'll run to you when all is said and done. I can't promise you that, so, _please_ , don't ask me to do it."

"Yeah," he said with a nod after a minute. "I guess you're right. It's unfair of me to ask you to plan for the future that way. But how about this... Let's say if after the tour is over and you find yourself all alone, you call me up and we'll see what happens? Does that sound like a deal?"

She sighed. "All right, you win. If I'm all alone and there is nothing else going on in my life, I'll give you a call."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Papa!" Caesar's voice called from the other room.

"I'm in here, kiddo," Malcolm called, turning back to Kristin. "See, I told you he's talking more and more each day."

"That's so wonderful," she replied as Caesar came into the camera view. "Hello, Caesar."

The boy smiled and waved at her before pulling on Malcolm's shirt. "Hungry, Papa."

"All right, we'll get you a snack." He looked at Kristin. "Well, it was great speaking with you."

"Yes, indeed," she replied. "Call me again soon.

"I will," Malcolm told her, turning to Caesar. "Say goodbye."

"Bye-bye," he said with a wave.

Kristin laughed softly. "Goodbye, Caesar. Goodbye, Malcolm."

With one final wave, Malcolm cut the link, and Kristin moved to sit at her desk.

She sighed heavily. As happy as she was that Malcolm and Caesar were getting along swimmingly, no pun intended, she didn't like having to promise she might rekindle something with him in the future. Oh, Malcolm was terribly sweet, and for a brief moment, she had pondered on what their life might be together if they became serious, but...

Well, Nathan was right. He was a little crazy. At first, his eccentricities and philosophies had been refreshing. It was rather exciting getting to know someone so different from her, but that newness wore off rather quickly. He might have been a brilliant scientist, but he was terribly unorganized, which drove her nearly insane. And he was far too laid back about some things for her liking.

She gave a shake of her head. No, the more she thought about it, the more she knew that she and Malcolm were not a match made in Heaven...or under the sea, as it were. At the same time, however, she felt she might have to keep him as a backup in case because...

Well, she certainly hadn't expected anyone like Nathan to come into her life. She'd expected to spend the tour fighting for acceptance from the military crew, but once Nathan came aboard, that fight had fallen by the wayside because he was both military and scientist. She smiled softly at the thought of him. He was probably more scientist than military, actually, but he was able to serve as a bridge between both sides. He wasn't her enemy but rather a comrade...and he'd made the rest of the military senior staff see it, too, and they'd followed suit.

And because of all this, she and Nathan became fast friends...so fast, in fact, that they'd found themselves spending more and more time together, even when they were off duty. Every night, they'd end up talking for hours until they decided it was time to turn in for the night or they'd never be able to get up on time. And before she knew it, she'd realized her feelings about him were deeper than friendship.

Of course, she'd felt guilty for it. The man was still in mourning, for goodness sake. She couldn't possibly say anything to him about it, so she'd pushed him away. It had started with a little white lie when he'd come to her cabin for their usual evening chat.

_"Actually, I think I'm going to turn in early for the night. I have a headache," she said._ _She could instantly see the hurt in his eyes, and she felt even more guilty than she already did, but this...this was for the best._

_"Oh...um, all right. You sure you're not coming down with anything?"_

_She nodded. "I'm sure I'll be fine in the morning. Don't worry. See you tomorrow."_

_"Right, tomorrow. Sleep well, Kris."_

_"You, too," she replied, shutting the door behind her as a silent tear slid down her cheek._

She'd hated having to turn him away, having to lie to him, having to make up reasons why she couldn't spend time with him, but she wasn't sure she could control herself around him. What if she found herself actually _acting_ on her feelings? She shook her head. No, she couldn't have that happening.

That's why Malcolm's call asking her if she'd be interested in working with him on his research had been a godsend. She'd have jumped at any excuse to escape, to get away for a little while, so Malcolm's research project had been the perfect opportunity. And when she and Malcolm started to become close, and he'd made a move... Well, it had seemed like a good time to attempt to move on. She'd been sure that she and Nathan Bridger were never going to be an item, so exploring other options seemed like the best thing... And she hadn't many of those _options_ banging down her door, so Malcolm had seemed like a harmless choice.

It was only when Milos Teslov came into the picture that she realized she'd been wrong about Nathan. She'd never expected that he'd confront her about going to Malcolm's in the first place, but when he had, she knew then that he'd had feelings for her, too...except he wouldn't say it.

She'd seen it in his eyes that he cared, but she was old-fashioned, and she wanted him to say it first before she was going to admit she had mutual feelings for him. Perhaps it was a bit stubborn of her, but if he was going to act like a little boy who couldn't share his playthings and not admit to the fact he was jealous, she could play at that game, too. Of course, she felt she was more than generous with her hints to him in the mess hall after Teslov had surrendered.

She bit her bottom lip at the thought. Only it hadn't quite worked like she'd hoped it would because a rift had formed between them, and she wasn't sure how to repair it. They'd barely spoken except for the normal, every day work-related things, but even that was like pulling teeth. They didn't spend any time together off duty, not like they used to, and she missed it. She missed _him_.

Had love always been this complicated for her? Well, she never had much luck in the love department. _Attracting_ a man had never been a problem; _keeping_ one, however, was quite another story. However, she was sure Nathan had been strictly monogamous during his marriage to Carol, so she hadn't been particularly worried about him having a wandering eye if they ever decided to take that leap together. Still, she didn't remember having quite so much trouble telling a man her feelings before. Why was it do difficult now?

She rested her elbow on her desk and cradled her chin in her hand, pondering it all when a knock on her door pulled her out of her head. _Yes, it's about time you do some work around here,_ she chastised herself. "Come in," she called and was somewhat surprised when Nathan walked in. She forced a smile. "Changed your mind about that exam after all, did you?"

"Uh, no, actually, but I was wondering if we could talk." He glanced towards her desk. "You're not busy, are you?"

She shook her head, moving around to the other side of her desk and leaning against it. "Not too busy for you. Um, what's on your mind?"

He paused for a brief second. "How's Malcolm?"

She laughed softly. "You came all the way over here to ask me about Malcolm? Why in the world don't you just call him yourself? He's your friend."

"Well, you just spoke with him, didn't you?"

"Y-yes, but..." She sighed, giving a slight shake of her head. "If you must know, he's doing fine. He and Caesar have already started to bond, and Caesar is doing wonderfully." She paused. "Is that all you wanted to know?"

He shrugged. "And his research is just fine as well?"

"He didn't mention, but I assume so. Is that what this is about? You're worried I'm going to work with him again?"

He crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, you'd mentioned you weren't sure if you were finished with your work there..."

"And I'm still not sure, but I don't see what that has to do with anything. I do have the right to take time to deliberate such things, don't I?"

"Of course. You certainly have every right to deliberate...just like you have every right to go wherever you want."

She didn't miss the irritation in his voice, however. She took a deep breath, softening a bit. "Nathan, what's really bothering you?"

" _You_."

Her jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry, but... I can't stop thinking about our conversation in the mess hall a couple of weeks ago. Is...is there something else you need here?"

"I'd told you I was checking..."

"Yeah, you mentioned, but quite frankly, I'm not sure what that means...and while I've tried to figure it out, you make it awfully difficult when you're busy running off to Malcolm's and wherever else. We've barely spoken for weeks."

"It's not from lack of trying," she pointed out. "We've both been a little busy, and you know it."

"Busy?" he scoffed. "We haven't been that busy and you know it. We've been on patrol, and hardly any medical emergencies have come up. Yes, you have your research, but... I think you've been avoiding me. Is it true?"

She shrugged. "I think that goes both ways, you know. I can't help but notice you can barely look at me since I've come back from Malcolm's. Have I really upset you that badly?"

"No, I-" He shook his head, motioning to the stack of paperwork on her desk. "You know, you're right. We have been a little busy...too busy for one another, but maybe we should make more of an effort to change all that."

"That's not a terrible idea," she replied. "What would you suggest?"

"How about we have dinner together, just the two of us, say around 1900 hours?"

"All right..." she said after a moment, her heart doing a flip in her chest.

"And we'll have a long, much-needed talk," he told her, inching towards the door. "See you then."

"Indeed, see you then," she replied as he left her. She then sighed, moving back to sit at her desk. "Well, this should be interesting," she muttered, unsure of what exactly would happen. Still, she brushed the thought aside and attempted to push through her day.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Though it was nearing 1900 hours, Nathan found himself pacing the floor of his quarters. He hadn't expected himself to invite her to dinner, but it had just slipped out. And when he was in her presence, he found himself doing things he wouldn't normally do. She had some kind of hold on him he couldn't quite shake...and he wasn't really sure he wanted to shake it either. The only problem now was he had no clue exactly what he was going to say to her when the time came. He only hoped inspiration would hit him the moment she stepped through the door.

As soon as he heard her knock, his chest fluttered. He swallowed hard before calling, "Come in," and when she did, he suddenly forgot how to breathe... She wore a simple lavender sundress with a matching cardigan. She wore her hair long and loose over her shoulders, and her makeup was done to perfection. She looked absolutely gorgeous.

"Hello."

"Hello to you, too," he replied. "Kristin, you look...beautiful."

"Thank you," she said with a smile, motioning to the table. "You really outdid yourself. Candles, wine, shrimp cocktail, lobster... If I didn't know any better, I'd have thought you planned this ages ago."

"I just called in a few favors from the galley staff. Being the captain has its perks, you know."

"I can see that."

He moved to pull her chair out. "Well, have a seat." He opened the wine and poured some into her glass; he then did the same with his own and sat across from her. "Well, um, it looks good, doesn't it?"

She nodded, opening her napkin and laying it over her lap. "Indeed."

After a short, awkward pause, he raised his glass to her, and she did the same, the light clink of the glasses touching causing her to laugh softly.

They both sipped on their wine and began eating. Though they did a bit of talking, the conversation was mainly about the meal before them. Neither of them could bring themselves to speak about the real issue at hand.

After what seemed like a small eternity, Kristin finally set her napkin down. "I don't know about you, but I couldn't eat another bite."

"Me either," he agreed. "You enjoyed it, though?"

"Yes, of course," she replied, downing the last bit of wine in her glass. Nathan moved to pour her another when she waved her hand. "Thank you, but no."

He set the bottle down. "Right. Um, so..."

"So..." she repeated, picking a non-existent piece of fuzz off the table cloth.

"I... You see, I..." He sighed, giving a shake of his head. "I'm sorry this is so awkward. I feel... I feel like I'm sixteen again. This isn't very easy for me."

"I know what you mean," she replied with a nod. "I guess...just say what's on your mind. We never had trouble talking before."

"You're right, we were just fine before...before you decided to go to Malcolm's, that is."

She rolled her eyes. "I _knew_ you weren't going to be able to get through the night without bringing that up again. We've already discussed this...twice. Do we really need to go over it a third?"

"Well, I thought that's what the point of this was...to figure things out."

"All right, fine. I went to Malcolm's to work with him during my shore leave. It was nice."

"Nice?" he repeated.

"Well, yes... We had fun together."

He shook his head. "I really don't want to know what sort of _fun_ you two had."

"Not _that_ kind of fun," she said flatly. "Yes, he and I got a bit close during our work together, but...I'm not sure why I should have to justify it to you. Last I checked, I was a single, adult woman, and I have every right to-"

"I never said you didn't have every right. Did I ever say that?"

She stood and crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. "Are we really going to argue about Malcolm all night? I thought I came here to talk, not argue..."

He moved to stand in front of her, his hands on his hips. "That depends. Are you finished working with him?"

She groaned. "Why are you so bothered by the fact I may or may not work with him again?"

"I think you know why."

She ran a hand through her hair. "I'm really not in the mood to keep going over this. If we can't talk like mature adults-"

"Damn it, Kristin! You...you are making this _so_ difficult."

" _I'm_ making this difficult?" she asked, a hand to her chest. "You're one to talk. I certainly never expected I'd be blindsided on sea deck by Mr. Jealousy."

"Oh, and you're any better? I'm checking, I'm checking," he mocked in his best Kristin voice. "What the _hell_ is that supposed to mean?"

"It _means_ quit dragging your feet and admit you want me already!" she cried.

"Oh, does it now? Well, if you-" Nathan suddenly took a step back when he'd noticed the tears in her eyes. "Oh, God, Kris...I'm sorry..."

She waved off his apology and moved towards the door. "You want the truth?" she said through her tears. "Fine. I'm not going to see Malcolm anymore...not romantically anyway. I just... I guess I wanted _you_ to be the first one to admit what I already can see in your eyes, but that was probably too idealistic of me. I'm sorry, but I...I think we should cut this evening short..."

Nathan moved to block her exit, however. "Kristin, wait... I'm sorry. Please, don't-"

She shook her head. "No, it's my fault. Just, please, let me leave. We'll talk another time, I just don't-"

"Kristin, no, please... We both know if you leave now, another time won't come because we'll be too afraid," he said, tentatively taking a step towards her. When she didn't back away, he carefully placed his hands on her shoulders. "You're right. I was jealous, but I...I was too scared to admit. This...this isn't something I'm used to. It's...it's been a long time since..."

"I know," she said, her voice trembling. "That's...that's why I should just go. If you're not ready, I shouldn't-"

"Who said I wasn't ready?"

She lowered her gaze. "I...I just assumed..."

He quietly put his arm around her shoulders and led her to sit back down. He then knelt before her. "Kristin, I...I've never met anyone like you, and you're right... I wasn't quite sure I was ready for this...for you. But you...you've woken my heart up again. You've pushed me to admit my feelings to myself...and I'm ready to admit them to you. I care for you, Kristin, very much, and if I want to be with you, Much as I might like, I can't stay in my safe corner and be with you at the same time. I can't keep my heart locked away forever, so...it's yours if you want it."

She brought a hand to her mouth. "Oh, Nathan...I've wanted to hear you say that for so long." She put her arms around him and pulled him close. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Kris...and I'm sorry it took me so long to say it." He pulled away and brushed the tears from her cheeks. "I'm sorry for that, too."

"You're forgiven. Besides, you weren't the only one arguing."

He kissed her gently. "Do you still want to leave?"

"Not if you don't want me to."

He took her hand in his. "Good...because we have a lot to talk about."


End file.
